Twisted Every Way
by Scarlet Phlame
Summary: Regina casts a spell on Snow, and the intent of it is to change who her true love is. The only problem is, it backfires, and Regina wakes up to find herself trapped in Snow's body... and as if things can't get worse, the only way to reverse it is by true love's kiss, meaning that the women will have to look past their differences to fix it. (ION.) ADOPTED BY FrozenInsideTheWinter
1. Chapter 1

Regina bit her lip. It had only been a little while since Snow had come to her doorstep and told her to take her life.

Her mind was still reeling from the earlier events, and she closed her eyes in an attempt to shut out the dizzying amount of thoughts that were crammed into her head.

The temptation to kill her old enemy had taken over... She hadn't killed her. That enough was true. She had merely cast a spell on her to alter who her true love was... but it hadn't seemed to work.

She wouldn't know until later, but she hoped it was enough for Snow not to realize.

Her hands began to shake, and she slammed them down onto the coffee table. What had she been thinking? She hadn't helped her situation, she'd only made it worse... now she had the urge to use magic... the addiction, the rush she felt whenever she used magic seemed to be tearing away at her heart and soul... she couldn't resist the urge to send something, anything, into flames.

She wanted to watch Snow White's precious family burn... she wanted to feel the electricity and fire crackle and shoot from her wrist... she wanted to... no... she needed to use magic.

Stop it, stop it, she chided herself. Think about Henry. If she kept thinking like this, he would know she had used dark magic again... she couldn't bear to lose Henry, not another time. She wasn't sure she could withstand any more hurt... she wasn't sure if her heart could break any more.

She felt suddenly nauseous, and she flipped over on the couch and tore at the fabric with her nails, the sound of something ripping soothed her a little, and she closed her tear-stained eyes. She would sleep this off, she decided, and when she woke up she would be like a new person.

It was late by the time she awoke. The room was completely pitch-black, and Regina sighed. It was true, she still felt terrible, but at least it... at least it didn't burn and hurt. At least she didn't have those despicable thoughts eating away at her mind...

Her head was pounding, and she tried to stumble up, but when she did, she realized she wasn't on her couch.

'Have I been drinking?' she wondered, feeling around in the dark. She was lying in bed, but it didn't feel like her bed. The air was hot and musty, completely against her liking, cool and crisp. 'Did I turn off the air conditioning in my sleep?' she wondered. Maybe she'd woken up earlier, and then went back to sleep, she decided. But... as hard as she tried, she couldn't remember.

She ran her fingers through her hair. But it... it didn't curl at the end, it was thick and wavy and-

Oh, God. She ran her fingers through her hair, fighting the urge to hyperventilate. Had she been drinking? Was she high or something?

She groped around by the table, feeling around. There was a bead attached to a cord, so she pulled it, the lights flicking on.

A hand flew up to her mouth to stifle her scream. She wasn't in her house. She was in- oh, God, she was in Mary Margaret's house. What was she doing here?!

A mirror was propped up against the stairs. Heart pounding, she approached her reflection, took one look at it, and screamed.

'I'm high, definitely high,' she thought. 'I'm high.'

Her reflection... what she saw in the mirror...

She was Mary Margaret.

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_**Lol... so this is originally intended to be a oneshot, but I will probably continue it if people want me to, so...**_

_**REVIEW!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Before she could do anything else, out of the corner of her eye, she saw two electrical lights flick on. She took one look at the mirror, at her glassy reflection, then back at the lights, and made a mad run for the bed, pulling the covers over herself and squeezing her eyes shut, praying that when she opened them, she would wake up and be home again.

Nothing. What had she been thinking with the close-my-eyes-and-wake-up idea? She was seriously beginning to think she was high, but no kind of drug or alcohol would do this... hopefully.

No, she knew that her spell from earlier had backfired on herself... it was the realization, thick yet thin, that crept up on her, unseen, from the shadows. She had used a new spell... one she had created herself... it was true that Snow White's true love had been altered. But this... this wasn't exactly what she had had in mind.

"Snow?" Charming asked, and she bit her lip, hard, trying to ignore the grating sound of his voice as he steadily appealed to her. "What's the matter, huh?" His dark figure stood in the doorway.

'Think, think, think', she chided herself. 'Stop being a Mary Margaret for once, and think.'

"I had a nightmare," she fibbed. Oh, god, where had _that_ come from? Why wasn't she telling Charming she hated him? Why hadn't she taken the wrecking-ball to the relationship that Snow had... spent so much time building up around her? "That's why I screamed." And of course she had to continue on with the silly antics.

"Hang on," Charming said, running to the kitchen and pulling out a lighter, fumbling around in the drawer for something unseen. She raised an eyebrow, was he planning on setting the house on fire or something? She didn't doubt his strange sense of logic, not one bit.

"What's that for?" she deadpanned, as he approached her nightstand with a candle and a lighter. He fumbled around with the switch, before promptly setting sparks to the candle. Charming stared at her for a moment.

"Don't you remember?" the concern in his voice was so genuine, it made her want to lean over the side of the bed and vomit on his sickly-sweet colored blue pajamas.

...On second thought, maybe that wasn't such a bad idea.

"Oh, well, you're just tired," he said, letting out a nervous chuckle. "The flame should capture all the bad dreams and burn them." Regina found herself staring awkwardly at Charming. 'Gosh... he really is charming... oh, wait, focus, focus.'

"Okay... thanks," she said after a difficult pause. "I think I'm just going to go back to sleep now," she said. He smiled and nodded, and flicked off the lights on his way off.

"Good night," he called.

Regina groaned 'Good night, indeed.'

* * *

Snow woke up with a pounding headache. She wasn't exactly in the mood to get out of bed, she didn't know what to think... well, nothing seemed to be clear nowadays.

But, for some strange reason, she felt a lot... worse than she would've expected to feel. She just felt... really lonely. Yeah. That was it, she had no other explanation for it.

She yawned and stretched. She frowned, that was odd, where was she? She glanced around, took in her surroundings.

Her brow furrowed. Yes, this place did look familiar, but it wasn't her house. She racked her brain for the right answer. Hmm... Well, there was- there...

She jumped out of bed, almost stumbling into the wall. Her heart pounded. What was she doing in bed at Regina's house? Had she been kidnapped? She bit her lip and covered her mouth.

'No, no, this has to be a terrible dream,' she decided. 'Either that or...' she paused. 'I'm really kidnapped.'

"LET ME OUT!" she yelled, pounding her fists on the door. She sunk to her knees. This was it. Regina was going to kill her now, or keep her locked in here until her entire heart was black. It was all over. Charming would never know she was here. Emma probably wouldn't either. Maybe Henry would piece things together, but she highly doubted it.

"Damn it," she mumbled. 'And I still had that cupcake I left on the counter. I was saving it for later. It had... it had white chocolate frosting... where else do you find a white chocolate frosting cupcake? Oh, God, okay, focus,' she chided herself.

...Wait a minute.

She nervously tested the doorknob, pulled it down, and yanked as hard as she could. Hmm, that was odd. The door was unlocked, the handle was moving so why-

...Oh. She pushed the door open and found herself by Regina's staircase. 'That was terribly stupid of Regina,' she thought. 'Note to self, next time you get kidnapped by a sociopathic Evil Queen, try to push the door open.'

Her stomach growled. She was going to have to get that cupcake, or starve to death.

'I'm coming for you, white-chocolate-frosting cupcake. Oh, yeah, and also my husband, if he's along the way.'

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_**So, in case anyone hasn't noticed, this definitely is a comedy/humor fic... lol. But there will be a little drama/angst and lots of fluff/romance, although I can tell you most parts are gonna be corny... it's a weird mix of stuff, I know. XD Just like the last scene. But, don't worry, things are going to pick up later on. And Snow will possibly get her cupcake. Stay tuned!**_

_**To everyone who reviewed, thanks a million! R&R and I will see you next chapter!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Snow was halfway home when a pair of arms grabbed her and dragged her into the bushes.

'Oh no, I'm being kidnapped! But, I guess it isn't that bad... I mean, not much to worry about. What's the worst that could happen? I could die? Ha ha ha.' She paused. 'OH MY GOD, I COULD DIE!' she realized.

"No! STOP! I DON'T WANNA DIE! THE THING I PULLED WITH REGINA WAS ALL STAGED!" She flung her arms around and shrieked when a blast of blue light hit a tree nearby. 'What did I do?! I blew up a tree! What if there were birds in there? There's only one way to find out.'

"Come my little friends, as we all sing a happy little working song!" The night sky was suddenly littered with birds flying away. Her tone had been really flat. Well, that was what she got for singing at midnight.

"Shut up!" "she" said to herself.

Wait. What?

"Listen up, um... me," "she" said. Snow blinked. Was she seeing things?

"Are you a fan or something? Is that why you're dressed like me? I didn't know I had fans. Do you want an autograph?" Snow asked eagerly.

"No!" Regina exploded. "You're in my body, and I'm in yours!" Snow laughed.

"Are you drunk or something, fake me? I can drive you home, if you like." Regina tossed her arms up in the air.

"Great. I switch bodies with someone and it just HAS to be you," she mumbled. Snow frowned.

"I sound weird when I use a snarky tone." she giggled.

"Listen up, Snow White." Regina groaned. "When I say your name, I'm referring to the person INSIDE the body. So I'm Regina, and you're Snow." Snow giggled.

"I am king of the rock!" she shouted, standing up on a tiny boulder. Regina grabbed her arm.

"Get down from there!" she whispered into her ear. "I'm the town mayor, I can't be seen dancing on rocks or anything of the sort! Now, will you listen to me? We're stuck in each other's bodies and we might never get back!" Regina paused and let Snow absorb that information for a moment. Since Snow had very low comprehension, it took her around thirty seconds for her to realize what had just been said.

"Oh, no! Does this mean I can't have my cupcake!" Regina facepalmed.

"Okay, if you cooperate, I will get you your... cupcake. I can only hope that means what I didn't interpret it to be," she mumbled the last part mostly to herself. "Now, here's what we have to do. We have to get both of us to use true love's kiss," she mumbled. "Unfortunately... my true love is dead, at the moment." Snow nodded.

"I'm sorry." Another pause. "Now, can I have my cupcake?"

* * *

"Good morning, Charming," Regina nervously said, pacing the living room. It was early morning now, and she didn't know what to do. It had never occurred to her that if she switched bodies with someone then she would have to be the one doing the kissing... Great. Just great.

What made it worse was that she hardly knew Snow- other than the fact that she was an egotistical little brat that had robbed her of her happy ending- but she didn't know how to act. What would she call David? Charming? What tone would she use? How would she dress?

"Good morning, Snow," Charming said, seemingly a little surprised at the fact that Snow had gotten up.

"Hi," she said. Her attention was sucked towards his hair. Gosh, he had really nice hair. Why had she never noticed that? It looked like brown cotton candy.

'Okay, focus, Regina,' she thought. 'Don't let the hyper flake of Snow take over your senses.'

"I, um... think... I'm... going to go back to bed now," she lied, praying that Charming would just come over and kiss her on the cheek or something and tuck her in in order to activate the True Love's Kiss. She blushed a little when she realized how that sounded.

"Okay, but are you sure you're okay? You did have a nightmare last night," Charming pointed out.

'He really is stupid,' Regina thought to herself. "Yes, I did, that's why-" she gestured towards the candle. For some reason, she felt really, really tired right now. She didn't want to work. She just wanted to sleep. How odd.

* * *

Regina shot arrows angrily at the tree. She was terrible at archery, but she needed to vent a little. It was all just unfair... the true love's kiss hadn't worked. Which probably meant that Snow, in her body, was going to have to kiss Charming... she groaned. As if things couldn't get worse.

Something nearby snapped, and she paused for a moment, thinking she had just imagined it. But she couldn't get the thought out of her head, and she finally pulled the earbuds from her ears and wandered warily off into the direction from which the noise had come.

Was that one of her arrows on the ground?

She picked up the splintered, battered piece of wood and examined it. What- why was her arrow in half? Had she hit someone? For a moment, it sounded a little funny. 'Innocent little Snow White killing someone with an arrow- okay, focus. Someone else is out here, and whoever it- whatever it is might possibly kill you...'

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_**Yay! New chapter! XD**_

_**If anyone has noticed, cover pic was changed, mainly because I finally sucked it up and used PS Touch to edit a decent-looking cover for myself. -_- It's not perfect, but I suppose it should do.**_

_**This chapter was really crazy, but, trust me, it'll get better later on. I can't leave you hanging for long, and I most certainly can't deprive Snow of her beloved white-chocolate frosting cupcake for a lot longer.**_

_**See you all next chapter!**_


	4. Chapter 4

A few minutes of tireless searching, and Regina had found n old trailer. The white roof was littered with leaves and branches, and she pushed the door open nervously and surveyed the trailer.

Looks could be deceiving, because although the outside of the trailer suggested no one had been here for a long, long time, the inside clearly screamed that someone had been here recently... or was still here.

She didn't understand why she felt as nervous as she was, but she tentatively called out into the darkness, her voice ricocheting off the walls of the empty trailer. "Anyone in here?" Her heart continued to steadily beat.

"Just me," Came the voice of... none other than... a wooden puppet.

"August?" she whispered. She recognized him, even if he had turned to wood now, and his brilliantly blue eyes flashed back at her. For a second, she felt a pang of... sadness, but she wasn't sure why.

This was all natural, she told herself, it was because she had switched bodies with Mary Margaret. If she didn't work to break the curse fast... then she might end up losing all her memories of her former self and becoming Mary Margaret completely... the idea was frightening.

"It's just ol' wooden me," he said softly, taking a seat on the couch and gesturing for her to sit next to him. She did, mostly because she wanted... she wanted to know why he was in here, all alone... but she didn't know why she needed to know.

"But the curse broke," she started. She didn't understand, she didn't know a lot about fairytale characters but she knew a little about August, mainly because he had been a concern of hers for a while whatnot with the fact that he had been conversing with Henry... although that had been quite a while ago.

"Not for me. When it lifted, I could move again, but I stayed like this. This is my own punishment, not the Queen's. I did this to myself." Regina fought the tears burning in the back of her eyes, she didn't know why, but for some reason, she felt bad for August, just really, really bad...

"August, I'm so sorry." She surprised herself with this, she didn't realize she actually meant it until she said it.

"Oh," he mumbled. He didn't say anything else, so she took this as an invitation to continue.

"But you don't have to hide. There are people in Storybrooke who care about you- Emma, your father-" she never got to finish her sentence, because at this moment August suddenly spoke up, informing her that she had struck a core.

"How is he? My papa?" There was a slight sadness in his dark blue eyes as he spoke, and Regina felt a pang of an emotion she didn't really recognize...

"He misses you," she said with a pained smile. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply for a moment, when he opened them he refused to look at her in the eye.

"I know. But I can't let him see me like this... or Emma," he said, adding her former enemy's name in at the end to prove his point, that he didn't want anything to do with the

"Please reconsider. They could all use you back. There's been a lot going on. Henry's father returned, Emma found him-"

"Wait, Emma and Neal? They're back together again?"

"Uh... uh, no. Actually, he's engaged to someone he met in New York."

August exhaled sharply and closed his eyes for a brief moment, before speaking. "I was hoping..." he let out another sigh. "That's my problem- hoping. Hoping that things can still work out. Hoping that I can find redemption for the mistakes that I made." He looked up into her piercing eyes, a gesture that startled Regina. "But maybe some things you just don't come back from."

"No matter what you've done, you deserve a second chance," Regina said finally. They were the words that she wanted someone to speak to her, but she knew she was past second chances. And she was past trying to change. She knew she couldn't, she had been reminded time and time again of who she really was.

"That's easy for you to say. You never had to worry about forgiveness, redemption. You've never needed it." The words were bitter on August's tongue as he spoke.

"August, it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself," Regina started. "Come back to town with me. We'll find Marco-"

"You expect me to face him like this? A wood pile of failure?" August asked shamefully, looking her directly in the eyes,

"Don't say that," she whispered. She felt true sorrow for August, and she didn't know why. She'd always thought that the only person's happiness she had ever really cared for was her own and Henry. But things were changing in Storybrooke.

"You wanna help me?" he finally asked. She nodded and smiled a tiny, nervous smile.

"Yeah."

"Leave." August said. She opened her mouth to say something, but he motioned for her to stay silent. "And don't tell anyone you saw me."

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_**Long time no update! Sorry about that. =_= As always, please R&R and I will see you all next chapter! ^_^**_

_**Reviews:**_

_**Guest 4/15/13 . chapter 3  
im getting confused with who is who, who u are referring to and all that everything is all over the place**_

_**A/N: Sorry about that, I should've been more concise. When I say "Regina" I mean the person inside the body. So, in this chapter, "Regina" is referring to Regina in Snow's body. Hope this clears some stuff up~!**_

_**UPDATE:**_

_**I AM SO SORRY! This was supposed to be updated the day after last chapter... I thought I updated this but I guess I was wrong... SO SORRY!**_


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